what with the US elections, the country sliding into recession, and the ongoing general climate angst, it was only a matter of time before something truly noteworthy would happen.
and it's happened. this week, our little island has finally been shaken to its core. what two world wars, the suez crisis, the thatcher years and a decade of new labour couldn't achieve has suddenly come about, all by itself and without warning: we've suffered a collective sense of humour failure.
it's a truly apocalyptic state of affairs: we've started to take ourselves seriously.
if you don't know what this is about and have - like the vast majority of people, including myself - not heard the original broadcast on radio 2, here it is.
be warned: it's funny. it's also mildly rude, very puerile, somewhat ill-judged maybe, and largely unnecessary. but it's funny. even if you don't find it funny, it's fun. fun in bad taste? absolutely. so is an awful lot of good comedy. but it's not malicious and it's not cruel and it's not anything really even worth writing about. the fact i'm writing about it here is already giving it far too much significance. it's two blokes making phone pranks. granted, they're doing it on public sector radio, they're extremely famous and they're paid excessive amounts of money for it. but it's still two blokes being silly on somebody's answerphone. using the word 'fuck'. it's hardly the end of the world as we know it.
yet a martian landing in britain today might think the country is in its greatest crisis since the norman invasion. the prime minister has spoken on the matter, and the director general of the BBC is conducting, and awaiting the result of, an investigation. meanwhile brand has resigned from his radio show and ross remains suspended. tens of thousands of people are complaining to the beeb and presumably to the broadcasting standards authority, voicing their 'outrage' at roughly eight minutes of air time they would know nothing about if the daily mail hadn't picked it up and turned it into a 'story'. now the story is running, it's gone out of all proportion, and it is truly shocking. not because of what brand and ross did, but because of how many people are over-reacting to it, and just to what degree.
but most shocking of all is that nobody - at least nobody 'important' - has yet stood up and said: get a grip: it's russell brand and jonathan ross. it's jest. it's what this, our great nation, is supposed to be famous for and proud of: our ability to have a laugh.
yes, for andrew sachs it was unpleasant and offensive. for this russell and jonathan apologised both privately and in public, and the apology was accepted. end of the matter.
ah, but there's the 'issue' of sachs's granddaughter, georgina baillie. is it fair on her to be telling her grandfather via his answerphone - and letting the whole nation know in the process - that one has had sex with her. wearing a condom. well: i haven't slept with russell brand. after a couple of guinness and with an hour to kill i would probably think nothing of it. but i would know it was russell brand. i would accept that even just going by my extremely limited knowledge of the gentleman, i should anticipate that his behaviour post encounter may potentially be less than gentlemanly and maybe not altogether discreet. i would not come over all surprised and indignant if he was seen the next day on the rooftop of broadcasting house, shouting it from there loud and proud, with a live-relay to a worldwide webcast. (and i would, in truth and in spite of myself, be ever so slightly chuffed that he felt it was worth shouting about). but it's russell brand. it goes with the territory. or so i would assume.
so no, maybe it isn't fair on georgina. but please: was it the romans who said, if you lie with dogs you must love fleas? or the greeks? no matter: you know what you're letting yourself in for when you get into bed with russell brand. the man is not a cad. he may be a clown and a braggart, he may be infuriatingly entertaining and willfully sub-iconic, but neither is he evil nor is he devious nor does he leave you - or the rest of the world - in any doubt what he's mostly about: himself.
and why shouldn't he be? make of him what you will, at least he and his mate jonathan still have what the rest of the country on far too vast a scale appears to have abandoned altogether: a sense of humour.
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